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How do I get through the holidays without my baby boy?

My 7 month old baby boy just passed away in August due to SMA. I would give anything to have him in my arms again. Every day is a struggle and with the holidays coming up it just makes me sick just thinking about it. I wish I could give him all the wonderful memories of Christmas. There are alot of children in my family and we are big on Christmas but my husband and I just don't feel like doing anything and we just want to spend the day at our son's garden. Any suggestions on how to get through the holidays?

Public Comments

1. Early morning of Christmas your husband and you can go to his garden and then you can stay as much as you guys want, and then you can go and spend the day with your family. You can get through the holidays by baking some cookies to remember your son. I am very sorry abut your son i know how painful can that be when you lose someone you really love, such as a person who came from you.
2. I don't know what to say. I've never been in your shoes. I just wanted to say that you and your DH should do what feels right for you. Oh yeah. I also wanted to send you this: *hug* (sounded like you needed one)
3. So sorry for your loss and my well wishes for your family! I don't do holidays for several reasons, thus I can understand when you may want to be apart from others. The season and the weather can cause more frustration and can be quite upsetting for some of us, especially when we see some of the happier people out there with no care in the world. I feel that by spending the entire day at your son's garden can bring about more discontentedness than the joy that you may be wanting to experience. If you have family to spend the time with, might I encourage you start OR end the day at the garden (maybe both), reminiscing and relishing the times that you had (good and sad) between you and your husband while your son was with you. Make it a time to bond closer with the one you love and have with you today. Then go about spending time with your family, and since you have the opportunity to be around several children, USE them to get you thru this time. Watch them and see if you see any similarities that your son may have exhibited and then you can love and hold and think of him throughout the hole day via: the little ones. Don't miss this opportunity to reunite with the whole family and they will hopefully be able to understand your grief. (If they can't, they aren't very compassionate ones -- especially with this being such a short time ago experience). Encourage others to continue to enjoy what they have and thru their love and joy, you will be able to get through these rough times, which is what you are needing is the support, and love right now. I have lost so very many family and friends in the last 3 years that it is ruff, AND yet WE have to carry on! So please, please try to remember all the good times and again you are in my prayers. ...........myway
4. I'm so sorry for you loss. I can't begin to imagine a fraction of the pain you are feeling but I do understand why you wouldn't want to celebrate the holidays. First I think you should tell your family how you feel about the holidays this year. I think under the circumstances they would be very understanding about you and your husband not wanting to be around any celebrations. Second, maybe you and your husband should think about doing some charity work in memory of your son. A soup kitchen, homeless shelter, etc. are always in need of volunteers, especially on Thanksgiving day and Christmas day.